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How I Met The Love of My Life and Lost Him At The Same Time Paperback – December 16, 2023
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His debut work is a glimpse into the mind of a hopeless romantic — getting addicted to the idea of love and often chasing it in the wrong people, which eventually led him to the man he felt certain was his soulmate. In this painfully honest memoir, McKinney gives an unfiltered account of the stages of a toxic relationship — falling madly in love with someone who turns out to be abusive, hoping that they will change to become the person you know they have the potential to be, the dawning realization that you’ve been mistaken, the knowledge that you ought to leave, the frustration of not being able to, and the arduous journey towards finally letting them go.
In a unique format that features a collection of diary entries, voice memos, and text messages, McKinney opens up about every aspect of his relationship, diving headfirst into conflicting emotions instead of flinching away from them, bringing even his own worst mistakes and deepest waves of shame to light instead of tucking them away in favor of a self-righteous narrative.
Taking you on a journey beginning in 2020, McKinney gives a behind-the-scenes look into his life, talking about the challenges of growing up as an audaciously gay boy in Georgia, leaving home at seventeen, balancing school, work, friendships, and a turbulent love life — all while mustering daily the courage to simply be himself in a society that kept trying to subdue his shine, a struggle every queer person is intimately familiar with.
As a young adult, McKinney felt a sense of empowerment from knowing exactly the effect he had on people and wielding his sexuality precisely and unapologetically. There was the triumph of attracting lovers, both strangers and friends, knowing they were enthralled by his unabashed authenticity — and there was the loneliness that followed the realization that none of those people could see past his glittering façade.
He talks about reaching the heights of academic success despite seemingly insurmountable odds and gaining a following as a social media influencer, but still feeling compelled to hide the pain behind flawless makeup and a practiced smile — because exposing the ugly reality of mental health (in his case, an inner voice that oscillates wildly between passionate self-love and unrelenting self-flagellation) is only deemed “inspiring” and socially acceptable when coming from millionaire celebrities.
He reflects on how love can make you feel on top of the world one moment, and punch you in the gut the next. How it seeped into every area of his life, coloring even exciting milestones — a birthday celebration, track race win, high school graduation, Madison Beer concert, or a long-awaited trip to Paris — in melancholic grays.
In conversational prose sprinkled with pop culture references, McKinney crafts an original work that reads as part memoir, part gossip sesh with your best friend. How I Met the Love of My Life and Lost Him at the Same Time is, at its core, a tale of resilience, of taking the world by the throat despite hardships — and doing it all wearing a crop top and hot pink eyeshadow.
- Reading age1 - 18 years
- Print length231 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Dimensions6 x 0.58 x 9 inches
- Publication dateDecember 16, 2023
- ISBN-13979-8870114583
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Product details
- ASIN : B0CPWG51QV
- Publisher : Independently published (December 16, 2023)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 231 pages
- ISBN-13 : 979-8870114583
- Reading age : 1 - 18 years
- Item Weight : 14.6 ounces
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.58 x 9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #2,087,312 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #132 in LGBTQ+ Travel (Books)
- #9,961 in Traveler & Explorer Biographies
- #42,671 in LGBTQ+ Romance (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Born in 2003 in Chicago, Illinois, DeCarlos McKinney is a sophomore at Kennesaw State University and a proud graduate of BEST Academy High School. A rising star in the fields of public relations, design consultancy, social media, and marketing strategy, he is carving out a unique path at the intersection of academia and entrepreneurship.
Even as a kid, McKinney had always known he was meant for something… more. When other children his age were obsessed with the latest Marvel release, he was watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, perfecting his contour, discovering both his sexuality and his sense of style, while dreaming of TikTok fame and a glamourous Hollywoodesque life. Some might call it delusional — and he would agree — but then, people destined for greatness usually are.
Beyond the classroom, McKinney is a force for positive change. He is actively engaged in equity, civic participation, and the advocacy of LGBTQIA+ rights. His dedication to these causes reflects a profound desire to create a more inclusive world and inspire others in his community.
In the realm of innovation, he explores collaborative design and capacity building, demonstrating a well-rounded approach to problem-solving and creativity. This multidisciplinary approach extends to his latest endeavor as the founder of McKinney Strategies LLC, a Lifestyle Management Company based in Kennesaw, Georgia. Established in 2023, the company specializes in publishing, consulting, design, digital prototyping, production, and lifestyle brand services, providing exclusive and tailored offerings to its clientele.
He is a big believer in the importance of romanticizing one’s life, which sparked his foray into the literary world with his memoir, How I Met the Love of My Life and Lost Him at the Same Time.
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