'I didn't know if I was going to make it out': Ally McBeal star Lisa Nicole Carson, 46, shares her 'terrifying' struggle with bipolar disorder 

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Lisa Nicole Carson was best known for playing Calista Flockhart's bubbly roommate on late Nineties sitcom Ally McBeal.

However, the now 46-year-old was hiding her intense struggles at the time with what would later be diagnosed as bipolar disorder.

And in the latest issue of People, Lisa has opened up to the publication about the diagnosis that turned her life upside down.

Sharing her struggle: Lisa Nicole Carson (pictured in April) opened up to People about her struggle with bipolar disorder 

'From the time I stepped away from show business [in 2001] until now, I've been on a long very complicated and challenging journey,' Lisa said, adding: 'I didn't know if I was going to make it out.'

She explained that though she wanted to keep mum on her illness, she feels that following a public breakdown, she has no choice but to tell her story.

'When you lose your mind it's as traumatic as it sounds. It's not anything you can imagine happening to you,' Lisa said.

Lisa had her first psychotic breakdown in 1997 - before her career took off as Renee Raddick - and admitted that in the following seven years she suffered 'too many to count.'

In denial: The actress had her first breakdown in 1997, and admitted in the next seven years she suffered 'too many to count' (pictured in an Ally McBeal promotional photo from 1997) 

She said she didn't understand when she was first diagnosed as bipolar, explaining: 'I had never heard of it. I was in denial and would not take my medicine.'

Describing the mania she experienced in the following years, the actress said: 'Sometimes it can be beautiful. And sometimes it can be horrifying.'

Then, in 2000 she made headlines after a breakdown at a Manhattan hotel. 'I remember glass breaking, yelling, screaming and terror,' she said. 'Sheer terror.'

Bad news: Following a breakdown in 2000 that made headlines, Lisa's (R) contract was not renewed with the series

She spent several weeks at a psychiatric ward before returning to work at Ally McBeal, where the 'very concerned' cast had put together a video for her to wish her well.

Lisa said the experience terrified her, noting: 'I busted my butt and worked hard for a year. And then in 2001, I got the call, "We're not renewing your contract." I cried for a week.'

The ER alum had her last breakdown in 2004 and described it as 'the most terrified I have ever been.'

Back on track: After a 'terrifying' breakdown in 2004, Lisa decided to get help, and following years of treatment, she has since been stable and free of breakdowns for 10 years

'That's what marked the beginning of the end of the disease for me,' she said. 'I decided that whatever was going on in my life, had to take second place. I had to take my medication and fight this with everything I am.'

She later spent years consulting with doctors and experimenting with medications, bringing her to where she is today, stable and without a breakdown for 10 years.

Lisa returned to Hollywood in 2014, and says of the experience: 'Just being at a place where I am healthy, excited about life and auditioning is a joy. I feel very blessed.'

Blessed: Lisa has since returned to Hollywood, and says that 'just being at a place where I am healthy, excited about life and auditioning is a joy'

And though she feels it is risky to be so open about her struggle, Lisa wanted the chance to help someone else who may be going through a similar difficult time.

'I never wanted to breathe a world about what happened to me,' she said. 'But I've had a change of heart.'

'It's rare for someone who has something as severe as I've had to come out the other side, but I'd like to let people know that you can. You can get to the other side.'