What is urophilia? - PDF Archive

<strong>What</strong> <strong>is</strong> <strong>urophilia</strong>?<br />

<br />

Urophilia, or urolagnia, <strong>is</strong> a sexual variation<br />

in which a person derives sexual<br />

excitement from urine or urination.<br />

<br />

Plainly put, they get excited by wee.<br />

<br />

Recent research by top h<strong>is</strong>torians has<br />

revealed that many evil figures throughout<br />

h<strong>is</strong>tory were <strong>urophilia</strong>cs: including<br />

Hitler, Stalin, Fred (formerly Sir) Goodwin,<br />

and Freddy Krueger.<br />

<br />

Experts recommend the following precautions<br />

when dealing with <strong>urophilia</strong>cs:<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

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Protective clothing & gloves<br />

Breathing apparatus<br />

No financial responsibility<br />

A 5m ‘safe zone’<br />

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES<br />

SHOWER WITH A UROPHILIAC.<br />

YOU MAY NOT SURVIVE.<br />

MAR C U S F O R S U C C T R E A S U R E R<br />

(Sorry Pete.)

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Urophilia and You: As Dangerous As It Sounds…?<br />

UROPHILIACS<br />

ARE AN INSIDIOUS MENACE<br />

Whilst it may seem that what<br />

people get up to in the privacy<br />

of their own showers <strong>is</strong> nobody’s<br />

business but their own,<br />

recent research has demonstrated<br />

the following:<br />

<br />

2008 financial crash were<br />

<strong>urophilia</strong>cs. Th<strong>is</strong> proves<br />

that they cannot be trusted<br />

with any financial responsibility<br />

at all.<br />

I’ve run out of ideas already,<br />

so here’s a nice cartoon<br />

to reinforce my point:<br />

Though many great leaders<br />

of our society — Bear<br />

Grylls, for instance — drink<br />

their urine to survive, there<br />

are those who do so for<br />

more perverse reasons than<br />

it’s sterile and they like the<br />

taste.<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

Urophiliacs are responsible<br />

for 82% of global warming<br />

through their lengthy showers.<br />

Thousands of kittens and<br />

puppies across the globe<br />

die annually at the hands of<br />

<strong>urophilia</strong>cs.<br />

Over 90% of the shareholders<br />

and directors of the<br />

companies who caused the