Why You Should Learn to Love Your Pubic Hair

Everything you need to know about hair down there.
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Illustration by Fabiola Lara

Welcome back to “Loving Your Ladyparts,” a weekly series where we’ll be discussing everything you need to know about what’s going on below your belt, from why we wax to how you orgasm. Last week, we talked about your hymen and virginity. This week, we’re onto a different topic: why are we so freaked out about pubic hair?

It’s officially summer, and as you’re contemplating which cute bathing suit you should wear to the beach, you’re probably also stressing over what to do about your bikini line. And you’re not alone. These days, having a bush seems to be a big grooming “don’t,” especially for younger women. According to several studies over the last few years, women under the age of 30 are more likely to remove all their pubic hair than older women. Rumor has it that big sis Kim Kardashian took Kendall and Kylie for their first bikini waxes when they were 14 and 12, respectively. Some young women have even said that they feel judged by the guys they’re dating if they have pubic hair. What the heck is going on here?

Melanie Davis, PhD, a certified sexuality educator, traces this trend of hairlessness to three things: Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City era, not The Carrie Diaries), more revealing clothes and swimsuits, and porn. Carrie famously described her Brazilian wax in positive terms in an episode way back in 2000, and is widely credited with kicking off the craze of removing the hair from every little nook and cranny. Porn is also an influence, but not because it’s a more desirable look. “Being hair-free isn’t necessarily sexier. It just provides a clearer view of the genitals when porn is being filmed,” Davis explains. But teens and 20-somethings all grew up being exposed to these bare bodies, which produced a certain expectation when it comes to how female genitals should look.

But pubic hair has a purpose. “Researchers speculate that pubic hair provides a cushion against friction, whether from clothing or touching; it wicks sweat and vaginal discharge away from the skin; and it protects bacteria from irritating the skin and entering the urethra, the opening where urine exits the body,” Davis says. “Some researchers also think the hair distributes pheromones, which is the unique scent a person’s body releases as a sign of sexual arousal.” Between this and the fact that waxing hurts a lot and shaving leaves some, um, interesting stubble, it obviously takes some strong motivation to get rid of the fluff, beyond just neat trimming so that nothing is falling out of your bikini.

Some of it is a perception of cleanliness. “I shave often because I don't like the look of it with hair and it makes me feel cleaner,” says Mary*, 21. Jess, 20, takes her pubic hair “all off because I think it's gross to have hair. It makes me anxious.” Body hair, that most of the population never even sees, should not be causing anxiety. There are so many other things to be anxious about, like finals or someone else leaving One Direction. But the important point here is that you should absolutely wax or shave if that is what you want to do. If you can’t stand the sight of it, then by all means, rip it all out. But don’t let a partner or society dictate that.

One of the reasons women frequently cite for removing their hair is that they think their male romantic partners will be turned off or disgusted. There’s no better way to change expectations about pubic hair than by changing your own attitude about it. “My boyfriend never freaked out or was grossed out by my pubic hair,” Mary says. “So that's when I started not to care as much.” Vera, 25, agrees. “When we were younger, my friends and I would talk about it, wondering what guys liked most. Eventually, we found out men/women/sexual partners will like whatever you choose to do. They're honestly just excited to be with you and your body,” she says.

Then there’s the double standard, which we should call out whenever possible. “In my experience, guys aren't always clean-shaven so I don't think they should expect me to always be either,” Courtney, 21, says.

Guys seem to be getting the message, too. Several women noted that their boyfriends don’t care if they shave or not. And the message to guys who do care? Grow up. “The only time guys have made comments about pubic hair is if they are immature and don't have much experience with women. Immature guys expect women to keep their ladyparts porn star perfect,” notes Laurin, 21.

Ultimately, it should be about what you want your crotch to look like, amirite? “I used to wax everything off until I realized women set their own beauty standards,” Vera says. “I still wax to keep it manicured, but I don't go totally bare. I like how it looks, and I do what I want.” Bee, 22, has a similar take. “I let it go pretty wild. I trim and shave it myself when I feel like it, but that is only if it messes with how cute I look in my underwear,” she says. “Pretty sure none of my best friends get waxed either. They're all broke and we're all queer. I would rather spend the money I’d spend on waxing on a cheeseburger. It’s just hair.”

The moral of the story? You do you, whether that means smooth, a bush, or shaving your initials into it. “It’s easy to find fault with our bodies when cultural and social messages tell us something’s wrong with our natural state. Your pubic hair is fine, exactly as nature designed it,” Davis says. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. “I don't know who said this but I recently read the quote, ‘Never let a man tell you what to do with your body. It's your home, and he is your guest,’” Vera says. “If he doesn't like it, he can leave!”

*Some names have been changed.

Related:
8 Facts About Your Hymen and Virginity That Will Blow Your Mind
Vag-atomy 101: Everything You Need to Know About the Vagina (and Then Some)
What I Wish I Knew Before Losing My Virginity